when future is a question mark

不知是不是24小时的新闻轰炸使我的精神越来越脆弱，现在每每看到关于灾区的新闻就管不住自己的眼泪。为死者哀悼、为受难者祈福、为中国人的团结所感动。

那三分钟全国默哀的悲壮压得我喘不过气来。

大家捐款、捐物、捐血、捐力！The worst of times can bring out the best of humanity.

但是，还是像上篇post所讲的，we need to donate smartly and volunteer smartly. 在捐款物方面，不知大家有没有去check out china-crossroads 或者 牵手上海的主页。我个人认为这些信息的确帮助很大。

这次想谈谈如何volunteer smartly。 大家可能已经也从新闻中看到，很多热血沸腾的志愿者自发奔赴受灾一线，但由于没有组织没有受过训练，大部分的人只能在那里干等，没有做任何实质性的工作反而消耗本应该给灾区人民使用的物资。

Without management and training, the best intentions actually yeild a bad result. 因此大家光有一腔热血是不够的，还要使用正确的方式使我们的努力能带来最优化的结果。

目前牵手上海正在筹建牵手成都网页(www.handsonchengdu.org)。预计这个星期能和大家见面。牵手成都将会为在受灾地区运作的政府和非政府组织机构管理培训志愿者团队，更合理的利用志愿者资源。使大家能够选择最适合自己的方式为灾区做些实事。

Here is a brief preview of the introduction of Hands On Chengdu which soon will be open to every one(www.handsonchengdu.org):

In a time of disaster, we will need to rely on the best of humanity.

当面临灾难的时候，我们需要相信人性最美好的一面。

With 4 years of experience in managing volunteers in Shanghai, and 20 years of experience in the United States, Hands On Chengdu will aim to assist efforts to rebuild communities, lives, and schools by providing a stable platform for Government agencies and NGOs operating in the areas.

 牵手成都有着4年在上海和20年在美国管理志愿者的经验。凭借着这些经验，牵手成都将会通过为在灾区运作的政府机构和非政府组织提供一个稳定的信息平台的方式，来努力协助灾区重建家园、学校和恢复正常生活。

For us, a stable - trained - volunteer is able to bring sustained impact to its community, and we have developed the tools, training, and manage platform to ensure that you as volunteers will be most effectively utilized in this process.

我们认为，一个稳定的受过训练的志愿者可以为他所在的社区带来稳定的影响。我们已经拥有了组织和训练志愿者的方法和平台，从而保证您，作为我们的志愿者资源，会在志愿工作的过程中会被最有效的利用。

Unlike our typical operations, Hands On Chengdu will need to manage two separate platforms. The first being base inside the major cities of Chengdu, Mianyang, and Wenchuan where volunteers will assist hospitals, orphanages, elderly centers, and those living in tent camps, and the second being based in the villages rebuilding school, clinics, libraries, and homes.

和牵手组织的典型运作方式不同，牵手成都将会同时管理两个不同的信息平台。第一个平台将关注成都、绵阳、汶川等主要城市，在那里志愿者将会协助医院、孤儿院、老人院和在帐篷内居住的受灾人民。第二个平台将关注小村庄，在那里志愿者会帮助重建学校、诊所、图书馆和住房。

and to do this, we will require a diverse group of volunteers: those with teaching experience, those with building experience, those who are good with children, those who are good with their hands.  and we will require many volunteers to make commitments of more than a day (some projects may require commitments of 2 weeks or more).

为完成这两个平台的运作，我们需要不同的志愿者团队：有教学经验的志愿者，有建筑施工经验的志愿者，善于和儿童交流的志愿者，动手能力强的志愿者等。而且我们要求大部分志愿者能够参与持续1天以上的志愿者工作（一些项目可能要求志愿者参与2周或以上）

As one of China's worst natural disasters, we will all need to work together to rebuild, and we hope you will join us in assisting the affected communities. 

我们面对的是中国最严重的一次自然灾害，我们都需要一起努力来重建家园。我们希望您能加入我们，一起来帮助那些受灾的人民。

I feel so lucky to be part of this big Hands On family who are so quick to respond to the worst in such a smart way. Hopefully, I can go to Sichuan this July before I leave the country to contribute  more than just a cheque. If you are interested in joining me, in joining the long process of rebuilding the affected area, please keep checking www.handsonchengdu.org or if you are too busy to check the website all the time, just let me know! I will try to keep you posted!

I heard about 911 in New York, Katrina in New Orleans, tsunami in Tailand etc. and I would be surprised and felt bad. But it is the first time in my life, a disaster so big so appalling happened so close to me. And this time everything is so close that everything becomes too clear and too different. Although I did not feel any physical shake on the day of the earthquake, but my heart is shaken to the core.

Life, again, proves to be so fragile and human beings, so helpless, in the face of nature and, if you believe in it, fate.

I just can't stop thinking about those innocent children sitting in their classroom, elders taking a routine nap or watching television at home, people sitting in their office dutifully doing their jobs and then suddenly, life dealt them such an unexpected blow  which buried them in stark darkness for eternity.

And all this happened so frighteningly close that it could be my friends, my relatives, my family, and even me lying in those ruins.  This thought alone gives me goose bumps and makes me want to cry out loud.

We can't change what has happened. What we can do is trying to help a little bit, but how?

Of course, donate money, blood and other supplies to those in need. And donate smartly. You don’t need to give all you have to Red Cross. Red Cross is just one organization; it has limited abilities/channels and can only handle a certain load of work.  We need to keep our eyes open to other NGOs and institutions that may have other long term plans to help out those in need. Their work will supplement what Red Cross is doing, reach more people affected and may need more of your attention and support. Richard, my boss at Hands On Shanghai, reminded me of that and he is trying to list all the reliable NGOs that are worthy of our support on his website at http://www.allroadsleadtochina.com/ and also www.handsonshanghai.com ; you can also try to Google on your own, but you need to double check the reliability of each organization and the plan they have before you take action.

What we also need to do is to reflect, about nature, about life and even more.

Respect the nature more, cherish our life more, and care about the people who matter to us more. ..

If we all do this way, hopefully, something good may eventually come out from this saddening catastrophe: more caring, more respect, more bonding, more love in this world. Hopefully…

Life is so fragile that you should live all you can!

P.S: My boss also has the idea of having the Torch staying in Wenchuan which may bring the place more attention and support, see if you agree:

Take the torch to Wenchuan (For original article just click the title here)

This Afternoon I read a piece saying that the earthquake would not affect the current path of the torch on its way from Sichuan to Chongqing, and I came up with an idea.

今天下午我读到一篇报道，内容是：奥运火炬在四川的路线不会因为这次地震而改变。这条报道引发了我的另一个想法。

If the torch represents hope and the spirit of teamwork, why shouldn’t the path of the torch be changed. Why shouldn’t the torch be taken to Wenchuan where it appears the most damage has been done, and be left there as a sign that China (the world) is focused on Wenchuan and the affected areas.

如果奥运火炬象征着希望和团队精神，那为什么不改变奥运圣火的传递路线呢？为什么不将奥运圣火传递到汶川这个受灾最重的地方，并让圣火留在汶川以显示中国，甚至整个世界都在关注着汶川和其他的受灾地区。

So, with this in mind, I am hoping that Olympic sponsors (particularly those who have torch bearers in Sichuan) to call BOCOG and see what can be done.

所以我希望奥运会的赞助商们，特别是那些将在四川传递火炬的赞助商们，能够号召北京奥组委并关注其是否能作出相关的努力。

In my mind, to simply run through the affected areas without stopping there is not the right thing to do, and perhaps it will be difficult to get the torch there.

But, then again, they just got it to the top of Everest.

我个人认为，只是将奥运火炬在受灾地区传递而不停留的做法是有欠妥当的。目前，将火炬传递到受灾地区可能也是困难的。但是，转念一想，中国不是已经让圣火传递到珠峰顶了吗？

Suddenly feel like writing something…

Like always, there are so many things happening that are worth being turned into some kind of permanent memory laminated in the format of a diary or a entry in the blog, but I still feel that it is so hard to find the right way of putting everything down.

My laziness has blunted my flow of thoughts and made me so clumsy with words.

Is it possible to just preserve everything in my mind, keep it fresh and never fading or some shrine of words is needed to protect the original feelings? I am tempted to believe the former but a friend told me different and made me question the true reason why I never want to record anything with my pen anymore.

There are Tibet trip, Northwest trip, application, exams, job hunting, graduation thesis… coming up. So excited about the insane schedule but still, there is a little bit uneasiness and qualms lurking under my hyper spirits. What if? What if? What if? The only thing that I am sure of now is that this Sagittarius soul is busy, happy and excited for the adventure ahead. That should be what really counts anyway, right? The moment. The now.